I want to have your abortion
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
