I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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