I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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