as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I supernannyed him into submission
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
