You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
