she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
