There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
