my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
