the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
