The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize