I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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