I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
