So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
