Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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