either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
