Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
send nudes
from the living room?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
