i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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