watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
