how can u be prego again
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
