butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
