so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
