I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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