you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
