Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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