apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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