What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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