Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
