I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I need water and some morals
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
