I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize