her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
