A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
