omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
