I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
