i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
