Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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