I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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