After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
