How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
