she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
