There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
