I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
