i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
