Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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