I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
