I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
