I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
