That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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