I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
