i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
