Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
