dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
