Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
