Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
