Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
