Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
