I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
