it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
