OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
