Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
