she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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