Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
