I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
