laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
