one two three fourrrrnication!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
